It’s been a long time since I shared a story. I got this really heart-touching story today. So, here it is :
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the pain in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. ‘I want a divorce.’ I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,’Why?’
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me,’You are not a man!’ That night we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had suddenly become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly now. Finally, she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for so long seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table, writing. I just didn’t care so I turned over and slept again.
In the morning, she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s time before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams during that one month ans she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her out of the bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration, I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what trick she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any physical contact since my divorce condition was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, ‘Daddy is holding mommy in his arms.’ His words brought a sense of pain in me. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, ‘Don’t tell our son about the divorce.’ I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to go for work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this women carefully for a long time! I realized she wasn’t young anymore. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered about what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps that everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me…..she had probably buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, ‘Dad, it’s time to carry mom out.’ To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid that I might change my mind at this last minute. Then, I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it felt just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight had made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said,’I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.’ I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid that any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I told her, ‘ Sorry Jane, I do not want the divorce with my wife anymore!’
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.’Do you have a fever?’, she said. I moved her hand off my head. ‘Sorry Jane’, I said,’I don’t want to divorce her. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day, I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.’ Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,’ I’LL CARRY YOU OUT EVERY MORNING UNTIL DEATH DO US APART!’
That evening, I arrived home with flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran upstairs, only to find my wife in the bed – DEAD! My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from whatever negative reaction of our son, in case we push trough with the divorce – Atleast, in the eyes of my son, I’m a loving husband…….”
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the cars, the property or the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive of happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. If you’re not in a relationship now, remember this for the next time around. It’s never too late.
It follows in other aspects too.
Don’t take for granted what you have because when you do wake up and realize how much you have, it could be too late!
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up!
Time to live with awareness 🙂